VIII.

How do you begin to unzip the layers of yourself without exposing yourself to the cold? You can’t. Undressing your mind is far more intimate than taking your clothes off. I see glimpses where I peel back the mask I’ve put on and look at myself in the reflection. Sometimes it feels like I’m meeting myself for the first time. The outer and inner self can be vastly different, and it’s the welding of the two that can bring your truest form forward. Being ‘free’ can be more constricting than one may think because it requires a ‘letting go’. Letting go of not only what others think of you, but what you think of you. I’ve spent a majority of my life convincing myself I truly did love myself, but I never actually believed it. It was a mask. The reasons can be far and few between, but that’s not the point. The point is my inner and outer self were separate. So many of us I’m sure feel the same way. Why can’t we just feel the love we know surrounds us? Why aren’t we fast to forgive ourselves? What is holding us back? I don’t have the answer. It’s still something I’m running towards, maybe we all are. I’ve been falling down. Though, the best place to start I’ve found is to interrogate your own morals. What drives you? What drives me? Time unravels even the most wound up. Even the most wounded. If you know what I mean.