V.

Everything feels so big and so small at the same time. I’ve been having a hard time sitting with the reality that some things will be lost forever. Not that it’s a bad thing - it’s not. Some things are meant to be taken by time. It’s just hard to sit with, you know? Beauty, youth, health, friends, the stuffed monkey I lost when I was 6. And it never stops. An endless conveyor belt of swept moments being carried away. All you can do is try and take the things you can and hold them close and hope it slows down. It doesn’t. What a funny little game life is. I’ve been trying to reflect on how I got here, the times that define me. It’s a painfully necessary process. To look yourself in the mirror and accept that where you are might not be where you thought you would be. To reminisce on friends you thought you’d have forever. Things you wish you’d said, the restaurant that closed down last summer. Ice cream melts. Hearts break. No one is immune from the reality that nothing lasts forever. I have a hard time finding the silver lining in that. But maybe it doesn't have to be so heavy. If nothing lasts forever, maybe this version of me doesn’t have to either.